It always starts out the same. Your friends, co-workers and classmates start talking about how great the next social networking site is - Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, you name it - and the next thing you know you're scrambling to stay on top of all the updates while fending off messages and friend requests from old classmates, ex-girlfriends and pretty much everybody else you were thankful to have cut out of your life years ago. It can get pretty harrowing, especially when users begin to realize that information they thought was private isn't always kept so very private after all (pay special attention to the applications that request access to your email accounts and other personal info).
Sure, all these social networking sites might sound great at first, but eventually, whether due to a ridiculous terms of service change (Facebook), a bad stalker experience (is there a good one?) or a simple unwillingness to play the popularity game, you may find yourself ready to pull the plug. Every week there are more and more reasons (25 Things, anyone?) to disconnect from the fiber-optic popularity contests we all find ourselves immersed in with these sites. But how do you stop? Signing up is the easy part, but sometimes getting yourself out of their clutches can be trickier than breaking up with that obsessive girlfriend who didn't get the hint until you got a restraining order against her. Once they've got you, they don't want to let go.
Some sites only require a few clicks to pull out of the system entirely. Usually the ones that make you pay are the easiest, but as we learned so long ago from AOL, that's no guarantee. So here's a few tips to help you cut the cord for good once it's time.
Step 1: Save Your Stuff
Make sure your sacred memories from that night at the Bunny Ranch are saved on more than your Facebook or Flickr profile before purging your online accounts. If you've had it with Twitter, but you don't want to lose all those precious 140-character ruminations on your girlfriend's bladder infection or how you got wasted and wound up with a tranny on Friday, services like Twittersafe can help you out with that. But make sure you've got your pics and love notes backed up on your hard drive before pulling the plug on any accounts, because once they're gone, they're gone.
Step 2: Cancel Your Account
For many, MySpace was their first foray into web-based social networking. It got old and clunky real fast, however, and when Facebook became the next big thing the guys at MySpace made quitting their scene almost too easy. All you need to do is sign in, click the My Account link, click Account, scroll down to the bottom, and click Cancel Account. You'll find a similarly structured deactivation option on most sites. Just pay attention to what you're clicking, and - once again - make sure you've got everything you need (pics, notes, etc) backed up.
Step 3: Stand Your Ground
Deactivation is the fastest and easiest way to get the hell out of the system, but don't expect a smile and a wave goodbye. Sites like Facebook will guilt you up for wanting to leave. They'll ask if you're really sure you want to do this. You won't be able to keep up with so-and-so if you go, they'll tell you, tugging heartstrings by displaying pictures of people you're in photos with, playing on your emotions with captions such as "Jasmine will miss you" and "Stephanie will miss you." Of course they will. They have your name carved into their bodies and send you a thousand messages a day. That's why you're leaving. Resist the sweetened deals and robotic pleas of your former captive. Steer clear of promises of a better interface and/or more convenient features. They're all vicious lies to suck you back in. You're so close, you can almost taste the sweet freedom of social solitude. Don't give up now.
Step 4: Delete!
Deactivation does not mean deletion. Your account often becomes simply invisible when you deactivate, as is the case with MySpace and FaceBook. Make sure to find the "delete" button and follow the directions to the T. They don't want to let you go, and they're going to do their best to trick you into staying - even if you don't actually ever stay active in the system. Once you've deleted your account, it might remain visible for a while while they update their info. But if, for example, your MySpace page is still there after about a week, you can safely assume the deletion didn't go through. Just e-mail help@support.myspace.com and ask - firmly - for assistance. Do a google search for your account after a few days and see what turns up. If you can still find your profile, it's time for some fire and brimstone with the admins.
Step 5: Learn From Your Mistakes (aka Don't Ever Look Back)
After getting rid of MySpace, people jumped head-first into Facebook. It was the next logical step in the social network community for most, and it seemed pretty cool at first - until you started getting poked, superpoked and invited to join a jillion groups that serve no purpose and ultimately make the user experience a cluttered, confusing clusterf*ck. And that was before Jenny from the block used your info to find you, friend you, message you and tag you in every photo she can find.
The dealbreaker for many came when Facebook recently tried to put one over on their users with brand new terms of service that would've given them rights to everything you post there. In the week or so before they wised up and scrapped that plan, a world of bad publicity caused tens of thousands of Facebook members to delete their accounts. Understandably so. But some have been lured back by the sudden lack of ability to post mundane, useless updates about their lives, or indulge their voyeuristic fantasies at a whim. Don't be that guy. MySpace, Friendster, Facebook, Twitter, MyLife and so on all fall under the same double-edged umbrella. There are definite advantages and disadvantages to the service, and ultimately it's up to you to decide if joining the fray is worthwhile. But know your limits - and once you're out, don't look back. It's for the best.
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